TITLE: Broken/Mended
AUTHOR: Matteabrit, May 2002
SUMMARY: With Kathryn injured on an away mission with him, Chakotay has to take charge of the situation, while keeping his own fears at bay.
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, only playing!

BROKEN

“Damn it, Chakotay, why did you talk me into this?” she moaned, clutching her leg in agony.

“I didn’t talk you into anything, Kathryn,” he replied furiously as he worked his way through the remains of the shuttle. “This is ridiculous,” he groaned. “I can’t find a single thing back here.”

“Well, I wasn’t the one who tossed us around,” she spat back. Her final word turned into a groan as the pain shot through her once again. “The medical kit should be in one of the back lockers.”

“Kathryn, everything is in one of the back lockers.” He paused briefly to wrench open a jammed door. “Ah, shit,” he shouted loudly. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?”

“What’s wrong?” she called through from the bridge.

“You’re not going to like this,” he replied. “But the case didn’t seal properly. The regenerator’s bust.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m going to have to splinter your leg the old fashioned way.” She heard him throw something down and then his footsteps as he came back to the main cabin. “And hope Voyager comes to rescue us soon.”

To say that this was not the best day for either of them was putting it mildly. It had begun back on Voyager with a disagreement between them over something incredibly minor that had left the entire bridge crew fearing for their lives. Determined to have her first officer and friend back Kathryn had volunteered to assist him in the mission that had come up. A simple mission for supplies on an uninhabited M-Class planet, she thought bitterly to herself. It should have easy, there and back in a couple of hours with a chance to talk during the flight. What they hadn’t counted into their plans was the ion storm that had caught the shuttle firmly in his grasp, throwing it and its occupants around before unceremoniously dumping them all down in a broken heap on the planet. So far, Kathryn’s broken leg was not the only casualty; it was doubtful that the shuttle would fly again. The conversation hadn’t gone too well either; it had been stilted at best until the storm had come upon them.

“I managed to set the beacon,” she told him from her position. She was sat awkwardly in her seat, broken leg hanging off to one side and she had a feeling that she might have strained a muscle when she stretched over the console in front of her to trigger the communication beacon.

“So maybe we’ll get lucky,” Chakotay acknowledged. “In the meantime let me see what I can do about this leg of yours.” He kneeled down by her feet.

“Can you amputate it?” she joked weakly.

“Sorry, laser’s broken too.” He took in her concerned look. “The medkit is one of the casualties, I’m afraid.”

“Painkillers?” she asked, almost knowing what the answer might well probably be.”

“Sorry,” he repeated.

“Damn it, Chakotay. This pain is killing me.”

“I can imagine,” was his reply. “I’ve been in your position once or twice you know. Remember when we were on the Ocampa homeworld?” He stood back up again. “I’m going to need to move you.”

“Where to?”

“Someplace flat,” he muttered. His gaze swept across the remnants of the cabin. The bunks in the back were useless and he didn’t think she could stand to be moved so far anyway. There was only one place flat enough for her. The floor. Grabbing a blanket from the remains of the supply locker he laid it out on the floor so that her spine wouldn’t be bruised. He then pulled off his jacket and placed it at the head of the chair, fashioning it into what looked like a pillow.

“I’ve a feeling Tom’s going to kill us when he sees what we did,” Kathryn chuckled as she cast an eye over the remains of the Flyer.

“Nothing a good engineer and pilot can’t fix. I’ll schedule them some time together. I’m sure they’ll appreciate that.” He turned back to her. “Get ready to be moved.”

She smiled weakly at the anticipation of yet more pain. “If I didn’t know better, Commander, I’d swear you might have done this deliberately.” She braced herself as Chakotay held out his arms to her.

“Trust me, Captain,” he replied as he began to lift her out of the chair and into his arms. “I’d have planned things a little better. Broken Delta Flyer maybe, but broken leg and no medkit? I don’t think so.”

Her eyes creased with the pain of being moved and she forced herself to listen to his words. “But did you count on me coming along for the ride?”

“Not really. I thought after this morning you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me for the next week.”

“Would you really wish that upon our crew?” She smiled up at him.

“Not really,” he replied. “They do seem to take these things rather hard, don’t they.”

“Which is why I decided to join you. Ahh!” She yelped again as he slowly lowered her onto the deck.

“For the record,” he told her as he began to rip the material of her uniform pants. “Next time we decide to go on an away mission have Tuvok lock one of us in the brig. It’ll be a lot less painful for the crew.”

“For me too,” she muttered through clenched teeth. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I told you. I’m going to have to splinter this.”

“What?” She had visions of further breaks to her limb.

“Attach a splint to it. If I can find something long and straight I can fix it to your leg. Will keep the limb straight. Back in a moment.”

He disappeared into the back cabin again and Kathryn could hear him muttering as he tore through the area looking for something to secure to her leg. Soon he was back with what looked to be part of an access panel. “Wood would have been better,” he grunted. “But there never seems to be any in a space-faring vessel.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Chakotay sighed. “Well, at least we know your wit’s not damaged.” He was treated to one of her infamous death glares. “Forget it, Kathryn. You know damn well that look doesn’t scare me any more.”

“You mean it once did?” she queried as he lifted her leg. “Will you stop hurting me?”

“I can’t help it,” he retorted. “If you want your leg not to get any worse you’ll have to suffer through it.” He slid the panel underneath the battered limb. “Okay, take your jacket off.”

“What?”

“I said…”

She glared at him but complied anyway. “I heard you perfectly well, Commander. I just want to know why.” She handed the garment over to him and watched in horror as he began to tear it into strips. “That’s your rations, mister.”

“We’ll worry about that later,” he growled as he slid one of the strips under the panel. “Meanwhile it will work to fasten your leg to this panel.” Moments later with more than a slight discomfort to his captain, the first officer stood back and admired his work. “It’ll do,” he voiced.

“Glad you think so. Now what?” He rolled his eyes and instantly Kathryn realised that their personal situation had just got much worse. Tentatively she held out a hand to him. “Chakotay, I’m sorry.”

“So am I, Kathryn,” he replied and she thought she could detect a trace of bitterness in his voice. “So am I.” He turned away from her to head back to the front of the Flyer and stared out the viewport. “Looks like the weather’s cleared. I’m going to find some supplies for us, maybe a possible shelter.”

Now she was alarmed. “Chakotay… you mustn’t.”

“Why not? We need supplies and shelter, Kathryn. The Flyer isn’t going anywhere until Voyager comes for us and the last thing we need to do is starve.” He reached the door. “I’ll be back soon. Meanwhile the only moving I want you to be doing is tapping your commbadge if Voyager hails us. Understand?”

She nodded and he left the flyer. After five minutes of worrying she hit her commbadge. “Janeway to Chakotay.”

His voice, crackled and faint, came back to her. “Are you okay, Kathryn?”

“I’m fine,” she smiled. “I just wanted to make sure these worked down here.”

“Sounds like they do. But I’ll try not to move too much further away. I’m not sure the signal how far the signal will carry.”

“Okay. Janeway out.” She lay back onto the makeshift bed and closed her eyes.

It seemed that only seconds later she was being shaken awake by a very concerned Chakotay. “Come on, Kathryn. Wake up.”

“What?” she muttered.

He leaned back against the bulkhead. “Thank goodness,” he sighed in relief. “I thought you were unconscious.”

“I wish I was,” she groaned. “This leg is killing me. Is there nothing you can do to fix it?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Medical is not my field of expertise. We’ve just got to hope that Voyager finds us soon.”

“Well it better be sooner than soon. I can’t stay here like this. Isn’t there anything?” Seeing his look of frustration she changed the subject. “Did you find anything out there?”

He smiled and slid down the wall so that he was sitting on the floor next to her. “Actually, yes. Thank goodness the tricorder still works so you can’t accuse me of trying to poison you. I’ve got some fruit, some berries, and some leaves that might be useful for something. I think I also found the potential for a shelter as well but there was a storm approaching so I had to come back.”

Kathryn was listening to him speak, trying to focus all her concentration on him and not on her leg when she suddenly felt something drop on to her. She winced. “Chakotay? I think I’m getting rained upon.”

He looked up. “Shit! We’ve got a leak in the bulkhead. You’ll have to move, I’m afraid. I’m not sure I have anything to seal it.”

Kathryn groaned. “No, Chakotay. Not again. I’d rather get wet than move.”

“You can’t get wet. If you get wet you get ill and I won’t let that happen.”

Kathryn felt the panic set in, the pain was already excruciating without her friend aggravating it further. “I can’t do this,” she sobbed. “I can’t go on like this.”

His arms went around her and she knew he was getting ready to move her. “You can, Kathryn, you can,” he told her in soothing tones. “I know you,” he continued, even as he pulled her to her feet and straight into his arms. “You’re strong.”

“No, I’m not,” she choked out between deep breaths. “I hurt like hell.”

“I know you do. Happened to me once. Broken collarbone, no medical treatment. We didn’t often have the luxury of fully functioning medkits in the maquis and we didn’t often have a doctor either. But I’m here, I got through it.”

“You’re not me though,” she retorted, trying to focus once again on the discussion they were having rather than the sharp pain shooting through her body. “Are you?”

“I should hope not,” he chuckled. He paused briefly for a moment before changing direction and heading towards the outside of the Flyer. “Rain’s easing, Kathryn. I’m going to get us to that shelter I told you about. The less we have to move you, the better.”

She braced herself for an extended measure of pain, even though she could see his point. It made more sense to just have to move once and they couldn’t stay in the Flyer in its present state. “What sort of a shelter is it?”

“Caves,” he grunted, adjusting his load slightly. “Sorry, sorry. Just wanted to make sure I didn’t drop you.”

Her arms clung to his neck. “Please don’t. What are these caves like?”

“Deep, dark, cool. And there’s some wood around so we should be able to get a fire going.” She snorted against the softness of his neck. “I found a working phaser. We can use that to start the fire,” he sighed. “You’ll never let me live that one down, will you?”

“Nope,” she giggled. “Your face was a picture.”

“It wasn’t funny,” he replied as he took them into a cave in a cliff-face some hundred yards from the flyer. “We were all fighting for survival and I wasn’t doing a very good job of helping the cause.”

“I helped you then,” she told him. “And you’re helping me now.” She gasped a little as he laid her down on the ground; the pain was beginning to intensify and she wasn’t sure how long it would be before it came completely unbearable. She looked up at him as he prepared to return to the Flyer for their supplies. “We make a good team, Chakotay,” she whispered.

He smiled down at her. “We sure do.”

MENDED

He’d returned from the Flyer with their food supplies and they had enjoyed a meagre meal of berries and fruit. A fire flickered in front of them and now they lay side by side in front of it, feeling the benefits of its heat.

“Chakotay?”

“Hmmm?” He was beginning to drift off to sleep and was grateful that she had spoken.

“I really am sorry, you know.”

He did know. He was sorry as well. Their fight had been so petty, so over nothing, but it had shaken both of them as well as the crew. “I am too, Kathryn,” he said, grasping her hand. “You know something? I can’t even remember what we were fighting about.”

She laughed and to him it was a beautiful sound, a reaffirmation of life so to speak. He’d been worried about her every time she’d gone silent, fearing that if she slipped into unconsciousness she might never be roused from it. Chakotay truly did not know what he would do if she were to die on him, if he had to live without her now. She had become a part of him.

“Something stupid,” she replied before pausing. “Are you tired, Chakotay?”

“A little,” he admitted. “Fighting before crash landing takes a lot out of a person,” he tried to joke.

“I’m serious,” she told him. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll keep watch here.”

He was tempted but worried. What if she fell asleep herself while he slept? He had to protect her while she was in this vulnerable state.

“Oh, come on,” she scoffed as though she sensed the reason for his hesitation. “Its not like I’m going to be getting any sleep myself any time soon with this damn leg.”

He reasoned eventually that maybe it couldn’t hurt, that maybe, just maybe Kathryn would have enough sense to rouse him if there was something wrong. Besides she’d probably be happy just have to have own way for once on this mission gone wrong. “Wake me,” he warned her. “I mean it, Kathryn. You start to feel tired, eyes closing, you wake me.”

It seemed only a short time later that he was rudely shaken awake with Kathryn’s voice in his ear. He came to with a start, forcing himself back to reality as he remembered the dream he’d been having. “What is it?” he asked in a panic.

Kathryn was leaning over him. “You snore,” she commented wryly.

His eyes widened. “You woke me to tell me that?”

“Hey, man, your snoring help us find you,” a new voice added. Chakotay turned to find that Tom Paris was standing at the entrance to their shelter.

“That is why I woke you,” Kathryn indicated.

Chakotay was relieved to see that they’d both got through the night and that Voyager had been able to find them. It wasn’t long until they were both in sickbay, although he and Tom had to move Kathryn out of the cave so that the transporters could get a lock on her. The doctor had also demanded his presence so he had followed his captain just a few moments later. He was all too happy to see Voyager’s interior again, even preferring the confines of sickbay to having to explain to Tom why the Flyer was in such bad condition. Upon being released to his quarters he’d promptly updated the schedule to give the pilot and his wife time together to work on repairs.

“Janeway to Chakotay.”

He picked his commbadge up from his desk where he’d placed and held it up. “Yes, Captain?”

“The doctor has released me so long as I keep the pressure off this leg for the rest of today and tomorrow. How about dinner?”

Which translated as, “the doctor wants me to eat something. I suggest you come over here and feed me.”

“Just let me know when,” he laughed. “I’ll be there.”

Dinner was a casual affair. While Kathryn lay on the couch going over the latest reports that had stacked up overnight Chakotay replicated basic ingredients for which he was able to home-cook a meal for them both. Every so often he would glance over towards the living area and thank the spirits profusely that they had come through their adventure alive. Although Kathryn had told him to get some sleep he had been restless, his dreams had been a mixed mess of the erotic and the nightmarish; of having Kathryn and losing Kathryn. Both had disturbed him greatly. Things could have turned out so much worse, he reflected. Instead, the doctor had been able to repair the broken leg and besides for them both being cold and hungry there were no other problems. Well, except for the Flyer, he thought and smiled.

“Are you almost done there?” he heard a voice call through, shaking him from his thoughts.

“A few more minutes,” he replied. “Think you can stay alive that long?”

Kathryn replied with a very undignified snort. “If I can stay alive with a broken leg and your fussing over it I’m sure I can wait for your cooking.”

He smiled as he two full plates on a tray and brought it out. “How’s this?” he asked, placing the carrier down onto the low table in front of the couch and handing her one of the plates. “Good enough?”

Kathryn looked down at the food, picked up the fork lying to the side of it, and began to eat. “Mmm,” she muttered. “Delicious as always.” She took another mouthful. “Now I know why I keep you around.”

“I’m glad you have a reason to,” he joked, taking a seat next to her. “Next time you threaten to throw me out an airlock I’ll remind you of that.”

“As if I’d ever do that,” she laughed.

“You wanted to yesterday morning. I know you did.”

Kathryn placed her plate down and reached out a hand to him. “Chakotay, we fight. It’s something that happens between friends. Its just bad in our case because it becomes a crew morale issue for some unknown reason,” she acknowledged. “If you and I didn’t have differences of opinion then we would make a lousy command team. We’d either be blown up by some alien assailant or settled on an M-Class somewhere.”

“Hey, did I say I’d be content to settle somewhere?”

“I was thinking of the ship being blown up being the result of your opinion actually,” she joked.

Chakotay shook his head. “Hang on, you’re confusing me. I thought you just said if we had the same opinion…”

Kathryn smiled. “I’m confusing myself I think. I am tired.” As if to prove the point she drew her hand up to her mouth and yawned. “Okay, that proves it.”

“I should go,” Chakotay said; even though he was loathe to do so. Slowly he stood up and turned to go but she kept a hold of his hand. “What is it, Kathryn?” he asked, seeing that she obviously had something worrying her.

“I…” she hesitated a little. “I just want to say thank you for everything you did out there for me.”

Chakotay smiled down at her. “It was nothing, Kathryn. Really.”

But she held fast to his hand. “It wasn’t nothing, Chakotay,” she said quietly. “You kept me going. Because, for a time, all I could think of was the pain. You got me through that. You took control, kept my mind occupied, and managed to get a safe place for us. You did well out there.”

He looked down at their joined hands, feeling strangely embarrassed at her words. She made him sound so calm and… capable… when inwardly his blood had been flowing in desperation and panic. What if he’d not thought to tend to her leg as he’d had, what if he’d not found them food, shelter?

She must have sensed his thoughts. “Don’t go thinking about the what-if’s,” she told him. “I’m here, you’re here, we’re both fine and this leg will be fine as well.”

He smiled doubtfully at her. “I know,” he admitted at last. “I just don’t know what I’d do if anything were to happen to you.”

Kathryn threw back her head and laughed and he found himself oddly grateful that she’d chosen to find humour in his statement. “You’d captain Voyager, that’s what you’d do,” she told him.

“And if that isn’t reason enough to keep you alive then I don’t know what is,” he replied. Feeling extremely opportunistic he leaned over and kissed her on her brow. “Goodnight, Kathryn,” he murmured against her skin. “You be all right getting to bed?”

“I’ll be fine, Chakotay.” She let go of his hand and he immediately felt lost without her touch. “Go.”

Later he lay in bed and reflected upon the past twenty-four hours. He supposed she was right, that he had done well in handling their circumstances on the uninhabited planet but only he knew quite why he’d done it, and that was because he had been scared stiff that she would truly die on him this time, and he couldn’t stand the thought of failing her.

FINIS